The venerable A Jizzle Wizzle is coming to Oregon next week. One of the things he’ll be doing, in addition to visiting family, is meeting me at Hayward Field on Wednesday before Thanksgiving to a run a mile. No pacers. Just two old ultrarunners going head to head. Because he loves to bet, we’re going to wager our hair. Grae Van Hooser or Cougarbait (I can’t remember who) suggested that if the Jiz wins then I have to grow my hair long for next year’s WS. If I win he has to cut off all his hair for WS. [Of course, I don’t have the guaranteed WS spot like he does so I won’t be able to pay up if I don’t get in the race, but we’ll deal with that when and if it happens.]
So who will win? Normally I would say he doesn’t have chance on the track with me. It’s not like I was ever fast on the track – like many everyday Joes I ran “4:30 in high school.” Well, I actually only ran 4:33, but close enough. Jiz doesn’t even remember what his best his, but he’s pretty sure he’s never run under 5:10. Remember last year he came to break 5 minutes and ended up running a pretty ugly 5:14 a couple months after I ran 4:59? “You failed, epically, Dad” is what his son told him afterwards.
I’ve already come up with excuses he can use when I beat him (see post). Now it’s my turn to make my excuses.
So why am I not just brimming with confidence? Well, this has been an off year for me. I may be washed up. While I managed to run a sub-4 hour 50K for the first time in several years, I ran my slowest McKenzie in nine years at 4:19 and my slowest WS in seven years at 22 hours (I’ve repressed the exact time). I missed breaking an hour at Pear Blossom 10 miler for the first time in many years by nine seconds. My 800 time trial last weekend was not a confidence builder either. A metronome I am not. After running my fastest 200 of the year (31) and then my fastest 400 of the year (66) I hit wall like I’ve never experienced (either that or my memory has faded) and finished in 2:24 on noodle legs (yeah, that was a 78!). I actually had thoughts that I might fall down before the finish. It was quite ugly.
Deep down I do think I’ll be able to finish in front of him, but I am not taking it for granted. We’ll see. Last year when I ran 4:59 we had a pacer who just nailed the splits. This year, we are sans pacer so it could get interesting if one of us takes it out hard. Regardless of the outcome, it is going to be a lot of fun. We love to compete and talk smack, but we each do want to see the other succeed. I hope he runs a PR (but finishes behind me).
That’s quite a sad story. I think I’m going to cry. In the mean time it looks like you may need to play to your current strength. Or in this case, smallest weakness. Just tuck in behind until the top of the last curve and “explode”, not implode, past him to the tape. And really try not to fall before you cross the line. Just visualize in your mind that if you win, you get a guaranteed spot at States.
@grae, my “smallest weakness.” That just might end up on a t-shirt at some point. I’ll try not to fall down, but at Hayward there is a rail on the inside which can be very scary when you’re too close to it and your legs aren’t working.
A little bit off topic, but, I was thinking that you should consider some “Conduct The Juices” tech tops at some point in time. That would would be sexy. In black of course.
Dude, turn 2 at Sac State, US Masters Track and Field Championships this year…10,000M. I tripped over the rail no less than 4 times in 25 laps!!!
It’s gonna be ugly, but fun. I am trying 1200 tomorrow at 5 min pace. We’ll see.
@AJW, hint: don’t go out in 66.
That’s a lame bet. Neither of you really care about your hair. A better bet would be something like the loser getting tea-bagged by the winner and a picture of it happening posted on this blog.
@Kimo, think about what I’ll have to do on a regular basis if I grow my hair out.
Like what? Take a shower on a consistent basis?
@grae, if you just cut off the dirty hair, the new stuff that grows is clean.
So….I have to ask this question: what does getting tea-bagged mean? I agree with Kimo that neither of you care about your hair, that much. Bet on something that is going to absolutely make you beat the other one! Like the one who comes in second has to call first place Lord and Master all year. Dumb, huh? Just playin with you guys. As far as I’m concerned you are both winners! Have fun out on that track Wed. mom from cool
@mom from Cool, you think either one of us wants to lose? We don’t even need to bet.
@Craig, Seems to me that reply fully ducked answering “mom from Cool”‘s question. I think the loser should get tea-bagged and I’m not referring to being forced to vote Republican. Just sayin’…
@mom from Cool, Carole, since no one else wanted to touch the subject, here’s an answer for you. http://www.urbandictionary.com Just type the word you’re curious about in the search field. Please use discretion if you choose to respond to this reply. 🙂
I forgot about “the rail”. For some reason I thought it was removed when the track was resurfaced some years ago. When I saw ‘the rail” in high school, this is what I was watching: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/cover/featured/8492/index.htm
I think you should open this up to make it an all-comers ultra-runner mile…not that I am an ultrarunner anymore (though I AM running Quad) but a mile at Hayward field sounds “like” fun under any circumstances.
@Etha-man, maybe we could do this next year. Only people that have run a 100 miler in the current year could compete?
Good idea! And make the entry by lottery only since the entrants are ultra runners.
@grae, ultrasignup perhaps?
@Craig, Speaking of lotteries and ultrasignup, with 6 days remaining WS needs 290 more lottery entrants to equal last year (1397 so far). What do ya think LB, is there gonna be a last minute rush to get on the list? Or should you have taken me up on the bet proposal? 🙂
@The Seed, can’t remember what we were going to bet but I am trying to back off on the betting. 2000? I still don’t think so.
Hmmm….are you saying that only people who run 100’s are ultrarunners? How about anyone who HAS run an 100…ever (can you tell I want in)? OR you could allow people to buy their way in to drive up the prize money pool…or pay the barber.
@Etha-man, no, it’s just the challenge of training for and running a 100 miler within months of training for and running a mile. Not exactly the same energy systems… But, we could relax it to let you in.
What time is the damn mile ?
I want to sell tickets !!!
Or a Bill Bowerman bobblehead to the winner.
It’s ironic that I often find the comment section of your blag (right?) to be so much more entertaining than the actual blag itself…this is a blag right?
I mean I feel like I know you guys. I feel like I get the same eye roll from my wife that you get from yours and there is just something so special about that…of course I don’t have a sweet nickname like J-swiz or Crump-thorn but sometimes after 5 beers I start to think,”I could actually hang with those guys…I mean they’re not that funny”
@Rumple Foreskin, how about you write a guest post and show us what you got? Sounds like it should be written after 5 beers. Oh, and Rumple Foreskin sounds like a pretty sweet nickname to me.
It was a great race on the track today. Yassine Diboun shot video and a couple of others took photos. Should have a blog post up tonight.