This post has little to do with running, but, with my wife in Hawaii soaking up the sun and hanging out with my outlaws, I’ve had a little time to reflect on why she has put up with me for 23 years of marriage plus three years living in sin. So this is what I’ve come up with for the top ten things she loves about me.
10. My ability to live comfortably while she’s away. I promise to clean up before you come home.
9. I fertilize the rug with my fingernail clippings.
8. My obsession with Western States. Honey, registration for the 2010 event starts on October 1! Wanna go to the lottery in December?
7. My sleeping habits. I really don’t understand why you don’t want a TV in the bedroom.
6. My guns, as in biceps (hmmm, maybe that’s somebody else?).
5. All the opportunities I provide to help with ski patrol, Where’s Waldo, trailwork, aid stations, etc.
4. I make large bets and put thousands of dollars, the truck, or the house on the line.
3. My awareness and concern for water consumption by only showering once a week or so. Hot tubs are great!
2. My part-time work status for the last, what is it, 20 years.
1. My collection of running shoes.
A few of my shoes
Ah,finally the answer to the question that we have been pondering for years.
I can`t remember how many times I have seen people shake thier heads and say,”how does she put up with him? or what in the heck does she see in him”,well now we know.
But let me add a couple that Craig overlooked,
1.When I have a party at our house I let her do all the cooking and cleaning up.
2.Just so she knows how much I care/need/want/respect her I let her pick out the color I`m going to paint my toe nails for WS100.
@John Ticer, that is really thoughtful of me to let her cook and clean. Thanks, JT.
@John Ticer, Actually John, the color choice for the “WS toe nail painting party” is no longer LT’s gig. It has been farmed out to the migrant volunteers who journey to Cali once a year for the work. 🙂
You forgot your prolific blogging and constant editing needs, your daily crisis and counseling needs, and your misplace everything and require help locating needs 🙂
5. I share the same unhealthy relationship with exercise
4. I kind of enjoy folding laundry
3. I provide opportunities to learn all about interesting medical aspects of how our bodies work.
2. I’ve got a memory like…um..ah.. you know those big grey animals with the trunk.
1. My friends have wonderful…um..well, they arn’t in jail and I guess that’s good.
@Dan Olmstead, You like folding laundry? If you ever need a fix, we always have a clean pile on the bed. Come on over.
And thanks, Dano, for actually reading the question I wrote at the end of this post. JT and LT obviously didn’t get that far.
Ahhh, but I think I did answer the question 😉
5. I let her do the cooking AND the cleaning. (Unfortunately that’s how it usually works out at our house, too.)
4. I’m great at procrastinating.
3. My ability to turn a simple weekend day chore (like cleaning the garage) in to a drawn out month long (sometimes plus) super-project.
2. My superb abilities in communicating schedules 30 seconds before they are about to happen.
1. Come on, you all know me! I’d be remiss if I left this last one out: My super-human ability to turn any substance I ingest (except maybe water) in to gas! Cheers!
@hairclub,
Some additions for your list (five is way too few!):
6. He has more hair on his chest than his head.
7. “Just a minute” is actually more like thirty.
8. Intelligent and witty conversations with our friends about boogers, boobs and poop. When is that garage done, LB?
9. He let’s me play with my scissor sisters. Sometimes he watches.
10. His big guns. Don’t they look big? Or is that strong?
11. The Tee-pee game. In reference to #1 up there.
@Scissor Sister, Scissor Sister eh? I like it. Now how about you answer the question from above or does your deaf ear get in the way of reading, too?! 😉
(Your additions to my list were awesome, by the way. Thanks for the help!)
#5 I’m secure enough that I let her beat me once in awhile.
#4 That I don’t mind that she uses more cell phone minutes calling DQ than calling me.
#3 That occasionally I let her talk about her day at work first
#2 that she knows I always pay the bills, because that’s what I do when she wants me to vacuum.
#1 My pheremones
11. As well as varying states of body decay, there is also Lord Balls shaven, partially shaven, or totally unshaven. Don’t confuse this with flooring.
12. She allows your friends to bring strangers over to puke on your rug…making them new friends of yours.
13. Two Words: Tinley Shorts
14. “Honey, lets take a vacation this spring. I know! Let’s rent a house on the WS Trail for 10 days. I can train and you can crew, cook and clean up after me and my friends. Sounds like fun?”
15. “Honey, lets take a vacation this spring. I know! Let’s do what we did last year…again!. Sound like fun?”
OK I went back and read the question you hid at the bottom of the post,but now I`m confussed…does this include my practice wife or just the new and improved replacement wife?
It’s obvious I have lost control of this post. And, really, it’s entertaining. But, to try to help the rest of you, there is a red, bold, underlined, and in h2 question below the picture above.
@Ticer, I think the fact that you refer to your wife as the “improved replacement wife” is probably at the top of the list of why she loves you.
@hair club and Scissor Sister, the gym is not quite ready, but will be soon! And thanks for your first comment, SS.
@white trash, Your pheromones? Does that have anything to do with your occupation at the town dump?
@Monkeyboy, My damn Tinleys have holes. I need a new pair. Got any clothing connections from the last century?
@Craig, we actually prefer the term “sanitary landfill,” but to answer your question, I’ll just say yes.
I wanted to reply to this post earlier but I had to stop crying first. I can’t even think of three reasons my wife loves me. You are a lucky guy (at least until you need to pay up on the 10-year bet:)
jislwisl
@AJW, Did you really just put the ball on a tee for me? Let me help you … (this is you speaking)
1. I let her crew for me at all the 100 milers I run each year. Oh, and while she’s crewing I let her watch the boys, too.
2. My Tan Mitts. She likes how they bounce up and down when I run.
3. My humility and humbleness.
4. My participation in disciplining the boys.
5. My paycheck. (I had to throw you one bone)
@Craig, Of course I put the ball on the tee for you. That’s why I’m here. But, a couple replies nonetheless…
1. Indeed, and we pretty much beat your ass every time (unless you’re pacing me)
2. OK, there is the issue of THE MITTS, but, I know, you wish you had them. C cup.
3. That’s just wrong. You saying I’m cocky?
4. Don’t go over the line with that one. We only have ice cream 6 days a week and I didn’t give Carson a beer until last year when he turned 10.
5. $ talks.
1. I exercise his Border Collie for him
2. I eat whatever he cooks, and don’t complain.
3. He gets to spend the money at home improvement stores and nurseries,and I get to buy running shoes and register for races
4. He likes the way I smell, but most likely, can’t smell anything anymore.
5. Sometimes after a long run or hard workout, I make him believe I’M the old man around here
@noultranoname, does he get massages too? I always thought it would be a nice perk if your spouse was also a massage therapist.
I can be counted on to ruin at least one pair of sheets per month thanks to dirt, scabbing, and aloe vera from sunburns after a long race. This way she gets to constantly be buying new sheets!
@ScottD, scabs in your bed? You need a hot tub.
10. I can keep her up alllll night exterting huge amounts of energy when its for me in an ultra — but when its for her in bedroom, I can’t last 5 minutes, out like a light.
9. I am not Craig Thornley — I actually have guns.
8. I am predictable, she never knows what I will do next.
7. I have had more cars than years we have been married…19
6. I am remarkably undedicated to ultrarunning and my results speak for themselves — what results?
5. I moved her to Iowa…actually, I moved to Iowa, I was just glad she finally showed up.
4. That I haven’t figured out how to balance my check book, she does that just fine with her accounts and her money….and my accounts and her money.
3. She always guesses high when trying to measure things in inches.
2. My charm
1. My dedication and ability to spend hour after hour recoverying on the futon..watching NASCAR, even when I haven’t trained.
@Cougarbait, my guns would look bigger, too, if I stuffed myself into a small shirt.
@Craig, Don’t you mean if you stuffed yourself into an XS shirt?
Whoa, that looks like my shoe rack full of Brooks Adrenalines and Cascadias!
I can’t decide what my partner likes most about me. It’s either that my work is actually my play or that I’m perfectly happy “working” 14-16 hours a day, 7 days a week, 364 days a year.
Man, that is a serious pile of shoes. I can’t say I have that many. You should add some clogs to the collection and some more boots. Keep on running.