I was on a two hour run Friday and struck up a conversation with a guy in my head who recognized me at a bowling alley because of the name on my belt. Here’s how it went.
Guy: Lord Balls? Really? I’ve read your blog. You kinda remind me of Caballo Blanco; you’re really not a very good runner, but you think you are some gift to the world of ultrarunning.
Lord Balls: Good to see you …. . Do I know your name?
Guy: I’m a blogger too. Just launched a new blog with a friend and it is going to be really great, we got over 100 hits on our first week and have steadily climbed the last six. We want to bring exposure to the world of ultra, trail, and mountain running which is sadly lacking. We are going to be innovative and do athlete interviews, race previews and reports, commentary, gear reviews, and so on.
Lord Balls: Interviews, race previews, gear reviews? Sounds like iRunFar.com? Who are you?
Guy: I know you’re a big fan of Western States. What do you think about all the elites deciding to go and form their own championship at UROC 100K this weekend since WS won’t let them in the race, let alone comp their entry fees or pay their travel and lodging?
Lord Balls: Excuse me, Guy, but what are you talking about? The fields at Western States have been as deep as they ever have the last few years. My friend DanO ran 16:45 this year and didn’t make the top ten men? He was outkicked for the tenth spot by Ian Sharman who ran 12:44 for 100 miles at Rocky Raccoon this year? And Ellie Greenwood became only the second woman to run under 18 hours and led the women, the top ten of whom finished under 20:40! Can you name another 100 that had ten women under 21 hours? With the Montrail Ultra Cup, there are up to 32 spots for elites so they do have a way to get in. Last year the top two men and top two women at WS also were voted top two UROY. Don’t think there is any other race in the country that can make that claim. UROC is, well, an interesting idea, but it doesn’t have many of the things that I think are required to be the destination race that many runners and sponsors will want to focus on. You need a great course, you need history, you need community passion and involvement, you need sponsors that will make multi-year commitments, etc. I don’t know much about UROC but as far as I can tell it is the Great Eastern Endurance Run with a new name and some perks for elites. Guess only time will tell whether it draws the top athletes and sponsors. Are you going to tell me who you are?
Guy: Speaking of UROY. What the heck is that anyway? I see that your quasi-academic friend AJW is already obsessing over this useless award. What does it mean to be crowned ultrarunner of the year anyway? When Kilian Jornet isn’t named UROY this year it will prove my theory that UROY is useless. Why aren’t the Europeans eligible to win this award? What a joke. I wish somebody would explain the purpose of this award.
Lord Balls: Do you have ADD? Now you want to rip my friend and UltraRunning Magazine’s 30 year North American ultramarathoners of the year award? You start off saying that the sport of ultrarunning is sadly lacking exposure, but then you say that UROY is useless? I take it you aren’t going to tell me who you are.
Guy: Just call me InsideTrailMatt. I really like your blog, Craig. You have passion for the sport like me and my friend. We like guys like you and AJW, especially when you go back and forth with your silly bets and competitions. You guys are great. And I really like it when you stir the pot. I’m pretty good at that myself, you’ll see.
Lord Balls: InsideTrailerMatt, thank you, I guess. I’m getting kinda lost in this conversation. What are we talking about it?
InsideTrailMatt: Can you believe Geoff Roes said that this was his most enjoyable year of ultrarunning ever? Not sure who he is kidding as anybody can tell that this has been his worst year of ultrarunning ever. With his two big DNFs at WS and UTMB he’s obviously not going to be voted UROY for the third consecutive year.
Lord Balls: I think it may be time for you to take your meds. Good luck with your new blog.