Top Ten signs you may be AJW

10. You wake up with a puddle of drool on your pillow and 24 empty beer bottles on the floor.

9. You have an automatic email filter that rejects anything that doesn’t contain “AJW.”

8. You find a credit card receipt for the Georgetown Hotel for $585.

7. There’s three feet of snow in your front yard.

6. When in conversation you constantly find yourself changing the subject to you.

5. You think you’re the only one who has a Western States age group jacket.

4. The Victoria Secret rep saw you on the cover of Ultrarunning magazine, and offers you an exclusive modeling contract for their new BioFit Uplift bra.

3. You can’t remember who your sponsors are this month.

2. You look on your driver’s license and you see more hyphens than letters.

1. This is what you see when you look in the mirror:

Who am I?

Who am I?

Can you think of some more?

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  1. Signs you may be AJW…

    1. People say, “aren’t you named after the guy that shot Lincoln?”…
    2. School aged boys point at you and refer to you as “Head Master”….
    3. You’ve finished second in more ultra’s than you’ve entered….
    4. The longer the race, the more competitive you just because everyone else slows down more than you….
    5. You used to have biceps…
    6. People ask if your wife’s maiden name was Wilkins…
    7. You have your very own Wikipedia description, but it really doesn’t say anything….
    8. Your living in your own private Idaho…
    9. You’ve run a 100 miles in 15 hours….and lost….
    10. You’ve got a shit-eaten grin on your face mile 1 through 100…

  2. More…
    1.You change your shirt at every aid station – sponsorship is a bitch.
    2.Feeling incomplete, you covet a battery gig.
    3.Only you and Ann Trason have ever graced the front AND back covers of a single respective issue of UltraRunning.
    4.You’ve spent 6 drunken hours inspecting every cover of every UR mag.
    5.Your naked nipples never chafe.
    6.You’re bummed that, in good conscience, you can’t accept a BAND-AID deal.
    7.You’ve taken so many S!Caps that you honestly believe you’re better at it than everyone else.
    8.”Show me the money,” is your favorite movie quote.
    9.You have said,”It’s not bloody urine, there is simply blood IN my urine.”
    10.You believe that creating children is creating a crew.

  3. more again…
    1. you feel no shame in continuing to wear the clothing Magnum PI wore in the 80’s.
    2. you know how many tree’s it is till the next mile marker on the States course.
    3. you develop wrist tendonitis opening all those sierra’s for the oregon boys hours after Cool.
    4. you wear a heart rate monitor strap to hold up your f-cup ta’s.
    5. two words: ashy larry.

  4. 1.You’ve got enough names to name all three Stooges…
    2. At the pre-race introductions, they introduce you as…”And this year’s runner-up Andy Jo…s..’s”
    3. You can make complete sentences out of your name: Andy is Jonesin to Will his belongings to his next in Kin’s.
    4. You’re black and white protrait photo from Wasatch 100 looks like something straight out of the “Grapes of Wrath”…
    5. You mistakingly enterned Rocky Raccoon 100 thinking it was Rucky Chucky 50K…
    6. You’ve got more sponsers on your body than a UFC fighter has tats…

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